Feeling Down on my Luck

It is February 11th at 11:53pm and I just finished an hour and a half weight lifting session alone in the gym in my building. Oh and today was Monday, the start to another week for most people, for others it is just another day from the continuous grind of the last weeks of days.

It is February 11th at 11:53pm, and I just finished an hour and a half weight lifting session alone in the gym in my building. Oh and today was Monday, the start to another week for most people, for others it is just another day from the continuous grind of the last weeks of days. I should feel more positive and filled with adrenaline after just working out, but instead I have clarity into a negative mindset.

I feel tired and worn out, with no real progress or results of success. If my inner feelings of the company are not enough, the outer view of the company by my social media postings compound my tiredness. To the outside world, the startup life is one to be envious of and glorified. I don’t often post the negative parts of the journey (maybe I should more), regardless I don’t think it’s what people want to see. With the postings and external view of the company, I find it so difficult to have the conversation in real life with the people I am close with. That dreaded question that comes up in every, I mean every conversation with people outside of the company, “how’s the startup, have you made money yet.” It angers me and frustrates me beyond belief, because the canned answer I typically say and what is actually going are mirror opposites. With that said, it’s not all bad, I am thankful that there are a few close people (and other startup founders) in my life that I can vent to, but it is limited and most of the people don’t have a clue what to say. It’s a struggle and one that isn’t going away.  

I now feel a bit better having wrote this out. I have this sign of relief sometimes, when I can pour these thoughts that spin around in my head out to paper. Regardless if anyone beyond me ever reads this, having it out of my head is helpful and enables fingers crossed positive thoughts to enter my mind space. For now it’s time to shower and hit the pillow, tomorrow will be a better day.