Battling Gut Versus Faith

What do we do when the path forward is unclear. Do we trust our gut or believe in faith that it will all work out?

Tonight, the climax of a long relationship has come to this point and I am at odds with myself. There is evidence to show that the path leads to a dead end. Over months and months of observation, this appears to be the outcome destined for the future. Yet, you have to consider the options and believe in the positive optimistic perspective that this will all work out.

We know that relationships teeter up and down; nothing is a straight line. There are sometimes when everything is going smoothly and other times that may be rockier. The power of the journey is getting through to the high points in our lifetime. We also know that the urge to push through the low points help to amplify the high points and leads us to believe in the faith of outcomes. We say to ourselves, “if we can get through this then we can get through anything.” This is the essence of us believing in the invisible powers of faith. Yet, when we feel this other feeling of gut how do we wrestle with it and make sense of that intuitive feeling. People often say, “I should have listened to my gut” after they learn a very hard lesson. The back and forth in my head has not stopped, to trust or to listen.

Since my conversation tonight, I have been thinking about this conundrum and trying to make sense of it. As of now, I do not have a clear idea of how to reason with the two ideals. What I do know is that I need to be present and focus on being present in the here now. The relationship lives and breaths without my consent and I am just an observer in the mist. My role is not to decide the future or play a part of the destiny it is creating, I can only act as a bystander and live my best self. For now, I will stay put and focus on what I can control. I will pick my battles where fights should be fought and stay vigilant for events on the horizon. My weakness appears again for attempting to put out the fires and fix the world, yet I must reason with myself to pull back to center and remain focused.

I have a path for now and will continue to think about this question as I move forward. I cannot design the future, all I can do is live in it.